2005-11-22 - 11:07 p.m.
a lot i don't feel free to vent about here, currently. i don't feel safe. i suppose we'll see what happens. lots of things going on, and as usual my brain seems to think that just because i'm not managing to do the impossible list of tihngs i've managed to pile up for myself, i'm failing.
i'm not, though, not really. i'm just not doing the twenty things a day i seem to think i need to do. i don't have the energy for it, and i cannot afford to waste energy i don't have fretting about it. still, it looks like i'll be bringing comic supplies to Thanksgiving with me.
the to do list currently looks like this:
Clean room - laundry (put away clean, sort out dirty, etc)
strip futon/rotate futon/remake with clean sheets
rough and draw Pumpkinness
rough and draw Spriteworld
iron newsprint sheets/packing paper for roughs for watercolor
rough layers for watercolor -- Luz with wings spread, YinXian/Ryou and Peri in snowglobes
cut, sew and stuff doll -- Tomoyo-chan
Tomoyo-chan -- face, hair, dress, underthings (wrap top and wrap skirt, wearable under kimono and under dress)
make holiday gifts
sort and pack for Japan
find a new job for when i get back from Japan
get my hair trimmed
all of that, in and around working at a place that daily becomes less and less tolerable. not the kids or the guests, but the coworkers and the quality of work they do. i find myself more and more annoyed at how standards are slipping, and because i'm so annoyed, i feel no urge to maintain my own standards, except where it comes to the guests. i find i have become more and more polite and outgoing toward visitors and school groups, doing all i can to make their visit a pleasant one -- because i know my coworkers won't bother.
yeah. kinda overwhelmed. a lot on my mind and a lot on my plate. i should be well asleep by now and i'm not, still up RPing with angel despite how tired i am. i just don't want to sleep. it doesn't make me feel at all rested.
meals:
breakfast: Japanese tea, lemonade, meds, rice chex, 1%milk.
snack: bottle of Ensure.
lunch: banana bread, chicken-noodle soup, lemonade.
snack: lemonade.
dinner: pan-seared salmon, corn, cranrasperry juice.
dessert: hot cocoa with peppermint mocha creamer, cranraspberry juice.
really don't know what to do anymore. hormones aren't helping the clear thought thing.
